Mohammed's story: death threats, an unwanted marriage, homelessness and depression but now free

The Peter Tatchell Foundation is proud to have been able to help Mohammed secure a place of safety in the UK and has shared his story as follows:

‘I am from a very conservative family in Pakistan and when my mother passed away, my father threw me out of the house. My maternal uncle and aunt looked after me; I was only 15 and found a job whilst studying. I was attracted to men and tried to fight it, as I thought it was unnatural and worst of all, frowned upon by God. I struggled with my sexuality all the time and I was hating myself.

In 2010 I came to the UK to further my studies, but even here I was struggling to accept who I was. I was pressured and forced into marriage by my family. I was terribly unhappy and still struggling with my sexuality. I tried every possible way to escape this marriage. I even phoned the police asking them to arrest me, claiming that I had stolen my wife’s money. In the end, I had no other option to tell my wife that I was gay.

Suddenly, my whole world crumbled and everyone that I knew turned their back on me. Worst, my family and that of my wife got extremely aggressive and I received numerous threats that they would be looking for me.

My family in Pakistan made it clear that if ever I was to return, they would hunt me down like an animal and kill me because I was dirty, sinful and brought ‘dishonour’ to them. I finally got some help and applied for asylum.

Being without resources, I was offered some accommodation, but I barely ever left my room in the first year. I only went to the kitchen and made dinner. It was a very hard time and I felt isolated. My time was spent only watching the cars passing by. My mental health suffered and I tried to kill myself. I was told ‘you are a waste of public funds’, that I did not deserve to being helped. I was so afraid of being deported and be killed in Pakistan that I moved away from the accommodation provided by the Government. For 6 months, I was homeless. I lived in the bus station, under bridges, wherever I could. I had given up on life. It took me some time and lots of support to go back and undertake the asylum process again.

Luckily in 2019, I was granted refugee status. It is very difficult for me to explain how I felt when I received the news. Initially I thought it might not be real, that the Home Office would come in the night and ship me back to Pakistan. Then I realised that actually I was able to stay here. It meant I could now start my life again. I was ecstatic and felt so much joy when I knew that I would not be sent back to Pakistan, which would have meant death.

Now I have turned a new page in my life and I am ever grateful that I am now able to be myself as a gay man. Today, I am comfortable with my sexuality and eager to grasp at any opportunities that may come my way. Today is a new beginning for me and I am so grateful to those who believed in me and supported me.’